“A while.” Wow, another pithy comment.

“I thought so. Did you know that when you were my
sister’s teacher in college that she had the hots for you
something fierce?”

“No way!” I remember my ex-wife warning me about all
the coeds who would get the hots for me and try to ‘make the
grade’ so to speak. I used to laugh, point at myself, and say,
“Yeah, right. Just look at me, Joe Stud.”

“She did. She used to tell me about it all the time.
The only reasons she didn’t hit on you then were that you were
married at the time and she knew what kind of negative effect
teacher-student relationships can have on faculty members. But
she used to tell me her fantasies, and believe me, she was hot
for you. By the way, if you ever tell her I told you this, I’ll
kill you.”

“I’m a little confused.” Wow, what a master of
understatement.

She smiled. I’m sure that I was red as a beet. I was
embarassed and very close to getting angry with her. If this was
some sort of elaborate tease, it was a cruel one for sure.

“That’s true enough. Most men are. Tell me, how long
has it been since you felt attractive?”

Well. That certainly caught me by surprise. To be
honest, I don’t know if I’ve ever felt attractive. Not
physically anyway.

Growing up I had some real conflicting needs
- – the need for attention, yet wanting to blend in to the
background. I wanted people to be close to, but I wouldn’t let
them in. That’s probably why my marriage failed – - my wife could
never get inside of my head because I wouldn’t let her. Some
sort of trust thing. Well, anyway, I had to come up with some
sort of answer….

“So, what would you consider a good reason for me to
take your class?”

“Because you want to sleep with the instructor.”

She said it with a straight face. I’m sure my chin
dropped all the way to my chest before I recovered my composure.
I started to laugh, thinking that she was joking, and was cut off
in mid gufaw by the serious look on her face.

“You’re kidding, right?”

“No, I’m not. There’s only one way you’re going to get
through this class, John, and I’m telling you what it is. You’re
going to have to believe that when it’s all over, there’s going
to be a reward.”

“I’d be careful with that if I were you. It’s still a
touchy subject for me.” I gave her a moment to digest that. “So
I want to recapture my youth. I didn’t think 40 was all that
old, compared let’s say, to 80. Let’s assume for the moment that
you are right. So what.”

“It’s the wrong reason for you to be in the class. You
don’t belong in this group anyway – - I checked at the desk and
they put you in this class by mistake – - you should be doing
lower impact aerobics until you work yourself back into some sort
of shape.”